Intensive Care 1

Intensive Care 1

by Rachael DMM

Ironically enough, I was masturbating when I got the call. I wasn’t going to pick it up, then I saw that it was a number from my hometown that I didn’t recognize. I turned off my vibrator and put it aside. After a deep breath, I answered. It was the local hospital there. I listened in stunned silence as someone explained that my father had been in some kind of accident and had a serious head injury. He was in a coma and had been for almost a week. They couldn’t locate any family until they somehow found me. I told them I’d be there as soon as I could and hung up.

I hadn’t seen my dad for a couple of years. Not because of any problems, I just had my own life now and there was a bit of distance between us. We still got along great, despite the divorce. My mom hated that I still kept in contact with him, but he was my dad. I loved him, and the fact that he no longer loved my mom didn’t change things between us. I talked to him just about every week on the phone and was actually planning on calling him the next day just to check in. Change of plans.

I put my dildo away, got dressed, packed while in a state of mild panic, booked a flight, and had to wait until morning, unable to sleep. My dad was still fairly young, in his mid-40s. He knocked mom up and they got married in their early 20s. He’d had some sort of fall. Probably up on a ladder doing something he shouldn’t have been. He was a risk-taker - something I always found exciting about him, but bugged the shit out of my mother. It wasn’t so exciting now.

I landed in Kansas City, rented a car, and an hour later I was at the hospital. He didn’t look as bad as I had expected - my fears had gone wild in the past ten hours. He had a lot of bandages wrapped around his head, a couple of IVs, and a lot of fancy-looking medical equipment standing by in case things got serious. The nice thing about being in the ICU was that at least he had a private room. Dad would have hated having to share a room, even though he was out of it.

The nurse, Abigail, was there to answer all my questions and keep an eye on him. He had been up on some make-shift scaffolding he’d put together with a couple of ladders and some spare lumber, just as I had suspected. He was changing a lightbulb up high in one of the track lights mounted on his cathedral ceiling. His housekeeper, luckily, had found him unconscious on the floor and called 9-1-1. They did what they could to relieve the pressure in his head, but his brain had swelled, and he’d been in a coma since he arrived at the hospital. It was awful.

Abigail, or Abi as she told me to call her, held me as I cried like a little baby. She assured me that he would be okay, but it was obvious she didn’t really know that for sure. I had no one to call. My mom was off in Portugal for the summer on some kind of kookie artists’ retreat - such bullshit. She would probably be glad to hear that he’d been hurt - I didn’t need that kind of negativity just now. My uncle Charlie, dad’s older brother, had died a few years back, and both my grandparents on his side had also passed. I was an only child, so it was just me. I was all he had.

“He’s strong,” Abi whispered, trying to reassure me. “He’s in good shape for a man his age. He’s breathing on his own. And we always take extra good care of the handsome ones.”

I looked at her shocked. She just smiled and winked to let me know she was joking. I guess you develop a strange sense of humor when you spend your day around nearly dead people!

Abi had long, dark hair that she kept tied up. She had sparkling eyes set above a pair of rosy, chubby cheeks. A bit shorter than me by only a couple of inches, and…plump. I didn’t like using the word fat, but it would have been a fair assessment. Or, maybe it was just those massive breasts that made her seem bigger than she really was. Her scrubs weren’t at all flattering. I don’t think even I could get away with much dressed in a set of those. But, as she left the room, her big ass gave her away. In a way, though, her roundness looked good on her and made her hugs feel extra comforting. I liked her right away. She was so kind and compassionate. Nursing was a good fit for her.

I spent the night there on a reclining chair that seemed to be designed to be uncomfortable in all configurations. I dreamt that when I woke up he was fine, his big smile greeting me, and him telling me there was nothing to worry about. And, of course, a kiss on the forehead - Dad’s favorite move. I loved those kisses and missed them more than anything.

When I woke up he was still out. Abi was there, trying to quietly take the blood pressure cuff off without waking me. She was so sweet. “How is he?” I asked, even though I could see for myself.

“No change,” she sighed. “Which is a good sign…well, better than things getting worse…obviously.” She came over and handed me a little overnight kit, with a tiny tube of toothpaste and a mini-toothbrush, plus a few other odds and ends. “You know,” she said, “you can talk to him if you want. Sometimes that helps.”

“Can he even hear me?”

“His brain activity indicates that he probably can, most likely.” She had more information, but she held it back. That couldn’t be good. The pit in my stomach just got a little deeper. “Try it. If nothing else, it might make you feel better. Tell him all the things you always wanted to say. I wish I’d had that chance with my father.” She looked at my dad with a kind of mournful sadness that broke my heart. There was a lot more to that story, but I didn’t want to pry or open old wounds.

“I will,” I said. “But I don’t have to admit that it was me who put the dent in his Chevelle when I was in high school, do I?”

She looked at me and smiled. “You just did.”

“He loved that car more than anything.”

She fixed me with a knowing glare. “Not more than anything, Claire. I’m certain there is something…or someone he loves much more.”

I wasn’t sure about that, but it was nice to hear. Abi fussed around with the IVs and adjusted his pillows, which seemed a bit strange that she was trying to make a guy in a coma more comfortable, but it seemed important to her, so I didn’t say anything. “Do you need anything?” she asked when she was done.

“I just want my daddy, back, that’s all.” I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. She came to me and held my hand in hers.

“We’re doing everything we can. Don’t give up on him.”

“I feel so helpless,” I wept. “So useless.”

“You’re not,” she insisted. “You can help him more than you know. Don’t hold back.”

That seemed like strange advice, but I tried to take it in - she was the expert after all. I nodded, wiped my tears, and thanked her. She smiled that rosy-cheeked smile, and for a second there I thought she was going to kiss me on the forehead. Or was that just wishful thinking on my part?

She left and I was alone with my dad. It felt strange being with him, but him not really being there. I’d never spent this much time with him without hearing his voice. He was a talker and always had something to say. It seemed like his mission in life was to make me laugh. Even when things were at their worst, he would make a little joke to cheer me up. And no matter how upset or depressed I was, it always worked - much to my annoyance. But, underneath it all, I loved him for that and depended on it whenever things weren’t going my way.

Well, things were pretty bad at the moment, and he wasn’t here to cheer me up. I wouldn’t be able to deal with losing him. I would fall to pieces, I just knew it. If it was Mom, I’d be sad, but I’d get over it. I know how awful that sounds, but I never got the impression that she liked me all that much. She loved me, sure, like she was supposed to, but we never really connected. Maybe that was my fault, I don’t know. But that didn’t matter. There were more important things to deal with.

I stood at the side of his bed, just staring at him, expecting his eyes to open and him to say something silly just to get me to laugh. If I could have made that happen by sheer will, I would have. But I didn’t have any super miracle powers. I took his hand in mine, trying not to let its lack of life bother me.

“Hey, Dad. How’s it going?” Dumb question, but I didn’t know what to say. “Nap time is over. Now wake up and get to work. The yard isn’t going to mow itself. And those bushes need trimming.” He loved doing yard work. The lawn was always his pride and joy. He would spend hours out there on the weekend puttering around with something or other. I’d try to help sometimes, but I never seemed to be able to do anything right…or, at least, right according to him. He was happy just to be left to it himself.

“If you don’t get up and take care of the yard, I’m going to have to do it. And you know what that means…” Was that an eyelid twitch? I’m sure it wasn’t anything. But maybe it meant he could hear me. That gave me a little hope.

“I love you, Dad. And I miss you. I shouldn’t have moved so far away. When you get better, I’m going to move back here. I want to be close to you. If for no other reason than to keep you safe. Why were you up there trying to change that light yourself?” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He was going to need a shave soon. “You can’t be crazy like that anymore.”

And that’s when I saw it. I didn’t know what to do. Should I just cover it up and ignore it? Was it an indicator that something bad was going to happen? I hit the call button, not knowing what else to do. Abi was there half a minute later. She didn’t hear any alarm bells from any of the monitors and looked at me quizzically.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, sounding genuinely worried.

“I don’t know…I was talking to him, and then I noticed…that…” I pointed.

Abi’s eyes widened when she saw the lump that had appeared under my dad’s sheet. A large, and very conspicuous lump, right around his groin area. My father had an erection.

“Oh…okay.” The expert didn’t seem to know quite what to do. “Well, ah, nothing to worry about. It’s fine…it’s very fine. Um, that happens sometimes, nothing out of the ordinary. I see it all the time.” From the way she kept looking at his hard-on, it didn’t seem like it really happened all the time. “We’ll just…” she grabbed a pillow out of the closet and set it over the offending bulge.

“And that’s all there is to it?” I asked, not sure what else I expected.

“Is there something else you wanted to do with it?” That was an odd question. I let it pass, what did I know?

“No…no…I guess not.”

“Okay, but that’s a good sign. It means he heard you or at least heard something. His body reacted the only way it could. I know it might seem strange, but it’s all good, I promise.”

I had to take her word for it.

“I’ll, ah, leave you two alone…” She gave me a sympathetic look and slipped out. What did that mean? What was she hinting at? Everything was all weird now.

“So, um, I don’t know what else to say, Dad. But I love you, and I need you. Please don’t leave me. I couldn’t deal with that. You’re my everything.” Was that really true? I didn’t want to think about it, but it pretty much was. He was the only family I really talked to. I didn’t have a boyfriend unless you count my vibrator. And I hadn’t done much of anything to make new friends in Chicago.

I moved the pillow. I don’t know why, but I just wanted another peek. The bulge was still there. And it was big. I’m sure it was just from the blanket and the johnny they had him in. I should cover him back up, I was being an awful daughter. Taking advantage of him in his condition.

I dropped the pillow. If he could hear me, did he know that I just did that? How embarrassing. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he knew I was acting like that. I could feel my cheeks burning. Just pretend like it’s not even there. My father doesn’t have a massive boner right now, and I’m not going to even think about it.

“I…ah…had a good flight here,” I said, not knowing what else to talk about. “There was a lady in the row behind me who prayed the whole way. I guess it worked because we landed safely. Imagine what could have happened if it wasn’t for her!”

I knew Dad, as a committed atheist, would appreciate that. He loved making fun of religion and religious people. It was the only reason I hadn’t prayed for him yet. He would hate it if I did that. I lifted the pillow again, and there it was - just as big and strong as when I first noticed it.

“What’s going on with you, Dad? Is that because of me? The sound of my voice? Are you trying to tell me something?” Without intending to, my hand was moving toward it. I wanted to stop myself, but I couldn’t. Next thing I knew I was grabbing onto it.

I was shocked and horrified by what I was doing. But, somehow, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I was holding my dad’s dick in my hand. It didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be real. There was no way I was doing something this weird and depraved. But was it…really?

If this was the only way he could communicate with me, then maybe it was a way for me to communicate back to him. I checked to make sure no one was around. All was quiet. I took a risk and lifted the sheet that was over him. And there it was…Dad’s cock. His very erect cock. His very erect, naked cock!

He had a gown on under the sheet, but his penis had somehow gotten free and was standing up at full attention. And there was a tube coming out of it…for pee, I assumed. I dropped the sheet immediately, instantly ashamed of myself for looking. Of course, I’d always wondered about my father’s penis…hadn’t every girl? He was the most important man in my life, after all. How could I not?

And, sure, I had fantasies, like normal. Me catching him jerking off. Him inviting me to watch. Him teaching me about boys and sex…showing me how it all works. Touching me. His mouth on me in places it wasn’t supposed to be. And his cock…always the fantasy revolved around Dad’s cock. What did it look like? What did it feel like? Was he circumcised? Was it big? What did it taste like?

I shook my head, trying to dispel those nasty thoughts. Disgusting thoughts that weren’t even appropriate in the depths of the most perverted masturbation session. And definitely not at my father’s hospital bed. I was a disgusting excuse for a daughter. But I finally had the answer to the circumcision question…yes, he was cut. And beautifully so.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I don’t know what came over me. I promise I won’t let it happen again. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Maybe because the sight of his cock was dominating my thoughts. Was it shaved? I couldn’t remember any pubic hair. I think it was all shaved clean. Was it?

I lifted the sheet and looked again. Yup, no hair…none at all. Wow, that looked nice. And it was as large as I’d always imagined…larger, maybe. So that’s where his big dick energy came from. I had so smile. Someone cleared their throat, and I freaked. I dropped the sheet and tried to pretend like I wasn’t just gawking at my dad’s hard penis.

It was Abi. She must have thought I was a total sicko. I wanted to die on the spot. “Everything look okay?” she asked like she hadn’t just caught me checking out my dad’s junk.

“He’s…ah…all shaved down there.” Why did I say that? I was basically admitting to the crime.

“Yes, that was us. We do that in case we need to insert a cardiac catheter. Julie was the one who got to do it, down in the E.R. when he came in.”

“Got to?”

“She was the lucky one, that day.” Abi came over and removed the pillow. We both just stared at the lump there, not saying anything. “The job doesn’t have a lot of perks, that’s one of them. Getting to shave a nice-looking guy like your dad is a real treat for the nurses. We’re professionals, but we’re still women, you know.”

“Oh…okay, I guess that makes sense.”

“Do you mind?” I shrugged, not exactly sure what she was asking. She lifted the sheet and took a peek. “Oh, nice.” She raised the sheet enough that I could see it too. It was nice, I couldn’t argue with that. “That is a fine specimen. Don’t you think?”

“Ah..yes…but I don’t …shouldn’t be…well…”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. It’s just a penis. They’ve all got one. Nothing to be embarrassed about.” She put his sheet back in place, and I felt a little twinge of regret. “I’ve seen it all, that’s just how things work around here. No privacy, no dignity, it is what it is. It’s worse for the ladies, trust me.”

“I’m so embarrassed. Please don’t tell anyone that I was…”

“That you got curious and had a quick look? If my dad was as hot as yours, I would have done the same thing. No harm, no foul, sweetie. Your secret is safe with me. Did you know men can still cum when they’re unconscious?”

“What? Why would you tell me that?”

Abi shrugged as she checked some of the monitors that didn’t need checking. “Just saying. Don’t ask me how I know, but it’s true. A bit of fun medical trivia for you, that’s all.”

What kind of a bizarre world of depravity had I stumbled onto? Maybe I was getting carried away. Maybe I was the one thinking this was more than what it was. Yes, I’d just seen my father’s erect penis. And, yes, it made me wet, for some weird reason. But why wouldn’t it? That was normal, a natural reaction that was to be expected. It was a penis, and I was a young, active woman. Just because it was my father’s penis didn’t mean anything. Just because I looked without his consent didn’t mean anything either. Nurse Abi didn’t seem to be bothered by it. It was okay…perfectly okay.

She said some nice things to me that I didn’t really hear, and left. We were alone, again. I stood back from his bed, not trusting myself. Abi hadn’t put the pillow back. It was right there, tempting me. She had pretty much given me permission to look. It had been practically sanctioned by a medical professional. A potential sex maniac deviant, but a professional nonetheless.

Damn, was he going to stay hard forever? I’d never known a guy with that kind of staying power. How long could he fuck for? Shit, I had to get my mind out of the gutter. I wasn’t at home in my bed fingering myself to sick fantasies, I was at the hospital. A very public hospital. I patted his lump lovingly, covered it with the extra pillow, then headed out for some coffee and a bite to eat. I knew that to be alone with him in my frame of mind was too dangerous. I had to get out of there before I did something I would really regret.

~ ~ ~

It was late. Everything had gotten quiet. Abi was off duty, and Sampa, a small lady from the Philippines had taken over. She was nice but didn’t say much. She also had a nice figure, but I scolded myself for even noticing. Where was my mind at? This wasn’t a strip club, it was a hospital for goodness sake! Not that I’d ever been to a strip club anyway.

I couldn’t sleep. And I couldn’t stop wondering. Was it just a fluke? A coincidence? I had to find out for sure. I stood up and went to his bedside. He looked so peaceful like he was just asleep and would wake up any minute.

“Remember that time we were at the beach on vacation? There was that lady with all the kids, and she didn’t know where one of them went. She was in total freak-out mode. You jumped right up to help her. Began looking everywhere for her little boy…Mateo, I think it was. She was crying and acting like he had already drowned or something. Then you came out of the dunes carrying a little boy. I still remember her scream of joy. You set him down and he ran to his mom. You were my hero that day. I know it wasn’t anything to you, but for me it meant everything. You were the protector, the man of action. I knew you would always keep me safe, and you always did.” I tried to blink back the tears, but they flowed freely. “I love you so much. So, so much.” I tried to hug him, without touching his IVs or anything. It was too awkward, and I stood up straight after just a minute.

And it was there again. Dad’s erection.

My suspicions were confirmed. Not a scientific certainty, as he would say, but there was a correlation established. Me talking to him got him hard. The sound of my voice caused his boner. Or maybe it was something else. The kiss? The hug? Was it physical contact? I would have to conduct additional experiments. What was I thinking?

I wasn’t going to experiment with my father’s penis. I wasn’t going to do anything with his penis. His big…hard penis.

I realized I was holding it again, but it was over the sheet, so it was okay…right? Not like I was touching his actual thing. I should probably take another look, just to make sure everything was okay. Without a nurse here to check on him, it was up to me…wasn’t it? I lifted the sheet.

It looked just as good as earlier. The lights were dimmer now than before, which somehow made it all seem more romantic. That was the wrong way to be thinking about this. Whatever “this” was. But, fuck me, that was a gorgeous cock.

I hadn’t seen a lot of them, but enough to know his was the best I’d ever seen in the flesh. It even surpassed my fantasies. It being all shaved may have had something to do with it. I never imagined it all clean and bald like that. His balls looked so smooth and lickable. Was I really thinking about what it would be like to have my dad’s balls in my mouth right now? I knew I couldn’t trust myself alone with him. I dropped the sheet…then picked it right back up.

There was no one awake, no one around. Could I get away with masturbating to this? Could I finger myself and cum before someone caught me? But, if I did get caught, what then? Would I be banned from the hospital? Brought up on charges of indecent exposure? Would they tell my mom? The consequences were too high.

I could just sneak into the restroom and do it there. The memory would stick with me…always. I knew what my dad’s cock looked like. It was more than I ever imagined I would get. It was enough for me. This would fuel my masturbation fantasies for years to come. As long as he got better. A pang of fear struck me. This could be the last I see of him. My last chance for…

I knew what it looked like, but I didn’t know what it felt like. I knew it was probably like any other penis in the world, but it was my father’s penis. What would it feel like to touch my father’s cock? There was only one way to know for sure.

My hand seemed to act on its own. I gripped his shaft. He was so hard that it sent tingles all through me. Goosebumps rose everywhere. I couldn’t breathe. I was holding my dad’s cock…his naked erection. This was the penis he fucked my mom with, the one he jerked off when he was alone. Did he ever think about putting it in his daughter’s mouth? In her pussy?

My free hand was at my crotch. It was overwhelming, I had to touch myself. But it wasn’t enough, I needed more. I gave him a couple of strokes, then hurried into the bathroom. I got my jeans down to my knees and went at myself in a crazed frenzy. I’d touched my father’s cock!

I mean, really touched it. Naked flesh, so fucking hard. His cockhead was right there, and his balls. All shaved and clean. I had two fingers inside me pumping away, and I had to add a third. I couldn’t get enough. All I could imagine was that it was him in there…it was Dad’s cock fucking me. What had gone wrong with my brain? Why was I doing this? What was I thinking?

Despite all the guilt and fear, I was getting close. I was going to make myself cum, hunched over in the bathroom like a degenerate freak. I didn’t care. I needed this. All the stress and the worry weren’t there as I went wild on myself. It was just me and my pussy…and dad’s cock. His big, beautiful cock…oh, God, I wanted it so bad. I could never have it, but I would always know for the rest of my life what I was missing. What he had to offer, but couldn’t give me.

“Daddy, fuck me,” I whispered and came. I clamped my jaw tight to keep from crying out in ecstasy. But one wasn’t enough. I kept going and very quickly rubbed out two more exquisite orgasms. It was better than any sex I’d ever had before. How could masturbating while standing in a hospital bathroom be so good? Oh, my God, I was a terrible daughter.

I pulled my pants up and washed my hands, not knowing how I was going to live with myself after this. If something happened to him, how was I supposed to go on knowing how fucked up I was? It was almost too much to wrap my head around. I just had to forget about it. Put all this behind me and forget it ever happened. I wasn’t able to look at myself in the mirror, so I went back into the room.

I tried not to acknowledge the lump in the sheet that was still there. It would go away soon enough. Probably it would have gone away sooner if I hadn’t touched it. Shit, I really did that, didn’t I? What would Abi think of me now? Would she say it was no big deal? Or was this beyond the scope of propriety, even for her?

But why had she said that thing about guys being able to cum when they’re unconscious? Why did she think I needed to know that? Why did she want me to know it? I stared at the bulge, trying to work it out.

Could my dad cum? Given the state he was in, probably not, but…maybe? How would I even find out? Like, what…give him a handjob or something? That was just ridiculous. I needed to think of something else. Something less twisted. Something more wholesome.

He had been here almost a week. And he hadn’t had any kind of release during all that time. Just like his beard was growing, all that cum was just building up in there. Just like he was going to need his beard shaved, he would also need that to be taken care of…wouldn’t he? I had a boyfriend who once told me that if a guy doesn’t cum, it could cause some kind of damage down there. Did I really want to risk that? I should probably wait and ask Abi about it.

I waited three minutes and decided I couldn’t wait any longer. My father’s health was at stake. I paused at his bedside and listened carefully. No one walking around, nothing going on. I reached under his sheet and felt for his penis. It was easy to find. Damn, it felt so good in my hand. I cupped his balls…those felt good, too.

I had always liked penises just fine, but they were just a means to an end for me. I never gave them much thought beyond that. But dad’s penis was different. It mattered to me in a way no other penis ever had. It deserved my love and respect. It deserved to cum. I wrapped my fingers around his stiff shaft and began working my hand up and down. Was I really doing this?

I was jerking off my father. I checked, but he was still out. Why did I have the feeling he was going to open his eyes and catch me being naughty? That would have been a good thing, though, wouldn’t it? That needful ache was back in my pussy. Was this for him, or was it more for me? As long as it helped him, it didn’t matter.

I kept jacking him under the sheet. I was tempted to lift it so I could see what it all looked like, but that would make it impossible to hide what I was doing if someone came by, or if Sampa, the night nurse, came in. How was I supposed to explain this? “Oh, it’s okay, I was just making sure he doesn’t get blue balls, that’s all, don’t mind me masturbating my father’s cock right out here in the open.” I would have to move to another country and change my name.

I was at it for a good five minutes before I realized I wouldn’t be able to tell if he came. He couldn't make any noise or give me any other clue that he’d had an orgasm. I had to take a peek. Nope, he was dry, no cum. But if he did cum, it would just go in the catheter, wouldn’t it? Maybe I needed some lube. Would that make a difference?

“C’mon, Dad, stop fooling around and cum for me. I love you and I just want to help you. Please, Daddy, cum for me. God, my pussy is so fucking wet right now. This is insane.”

Another ten minutes went by like that, with the jerking, and the dirty whispers, and checking to see if he came. My arm was getting tired, and I realized it wasn’t going to happen. I was disappointed, but not entirely. I was horny as fuck. Was this my chance?

I lifted the sheet again and gazed at his unflagging erection. I shoved a hand down the front of my pants and listened. All was quiet. I was supposed to be getting him off, but I was getting myself off instead. I was such a selfish bitch.

I looked at his cock and fingered myself. I thought about putting it in my mouth, slipping it into my pussy, and even rubbing it against my asshole. I played with myself back there sometimes, usually in the shower, but I’d never had anal sex. I never wanted to until I saw Dad’s cock. It would hurt so good, I thought as I rubbed my clit.

This was awful. It was bad enough that I got myself off thinking about his dick, but now I was about to make myself cum looking at it. It was such a violation. What kind of lecture on ethics would he give me if he knew what I was doing right now? I didn’t even want to think about it. I would be a huge disappointment to him if he ever found out. I was already a huge disappointment to myself, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop. I was so close…

“Daddy,” I said in hushed words, barely audible. “I tried to jerk you off…I wanted to help you cum…I really did. I’m sorry. Maybe next time we can try some lube. Would that help? Oh, God, I’m going to cum…I can see your cock…fuck, it’s so damned sexy…I want it…I want your cock so bad…do you want to fuck me, Daddy? You want to put your cock in my tight, little pussy? Mmmphhh…guuhhhh…”

It had to be the most awkward orgasm I‘d ever had, but it was still fantastic. And it lasted longer than usual. My father was the best sexual partner I’d ever been with, and he was in a coma. What did that say about my sex life? Or my lack of one.

I quickly put everything back the way it was supposed to be, trying to cover up the scene of the crime. And that’s what I felt like: a criminal. I was in the bathroom washing my hands, again…destroying evidence…when Sampa came in. She was going to be able to tell, I just knew it. I didn’t know how, but she was a nurse…she’d see something that gave me away.

She checked his vitals, fixed his bed sheet, and wrote some stuff on his chart. There was no way she didn’t notice the bulge. I stayed in the bathroom, avoiding her. She gave me a little wave as she left. Was that a knowing smile, or just a regular smile? Was she onto me?

I had to stop behaving like this. It was stupid and risky. How had I managed to turn a medical emergency into a perverse sex party for myself? No more. I was done acting like a monster. I’d gotten it out of my system, and had my fun, but that was it. Back to being my normal self. Back to being a normal person. A normal daughter. Just normal.

~ ~ ~

When I awoke, it was daylight, and Abi was there doing her rounds.

“Morning, sleepy head,” she chirped, as cheery as ever. “How you feeling today?”

That was a more complicated question than I think she realized. I was feeling guilty and ashamed and that maybe I needed some professional mental health attention. “I’m okay,” I lied and stretched. “How is he?”

She checked his chart, which she happened to be holding. “Well, whatever you’re doing, keep it up,” she said. Did she know what I’d been doing? How could she? Did someone see? I took a deep breath before the panic completely took over.

“What I’m doing?” I asked, despite my worst fears.

“There was a spike in his brain activity last night, just after midnight. That’s the kind of thing we like to see. Very promising. He’s responding to you, which is awesome. The more stimulation he can get the better.”

Was I reading more into what she was saying because I knew what I had done last night, or was it all just innocent nurse stuff? I couldn’t tell. “Okay…good…that’s good…” I murmured, worried I was going to give myself away. I couldn’t help but think of that Poe story…”The Tell-Tale Heart.”

“It is good.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but held back. She glanced around as if to make sure no one was listening in. “I can switch to the night shift if you’d like.”

“Oh…um, okay. But why?”

She acted like it was nothing special. “I don’t know, that’s just when it seems like he’s more…active, that’s all. Maybe you could use someone around to…help?”

“I…ah, I’m not sure. What do you mean…help?” I know what my polluted brain interpreted that to mean, but I couldn’t trust what my mind was telling me right now.

“Oh, nothing, just little things…like making sure no one bothers you…while you’re talking to him. That sort of thing. Sampa is a good nurse, but she can be a little ‘gossipy’ if you know what I mean.”

I honestly didn’t know exactly what she meant, but I nodded as if I did. It would be nice to know Abi was around at night instead of strangers, just in case. In case of what, though? I had made up my mind that nothing else was going to happen. Certainly nothing like what I’d done last night. But she did say it helped. It was good for him. That spike was right when it was happening. When I was…doing stuff. Damn, look at me. If I couldn’t admit what I had done in my own head, how was I supposed to deal with this?

I had tried jerking off my own father…while he was unconscious. I had molested my dad while he was in a coma. I was the lowest form of life there could be. I wanted to vomit just thinking about how reprehensible I was. So then why did I want to jump at the chance to have Abi around at night? Did I think I could get away with doing it again? Did I want to do it again? I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but that didn’t mean I wanted to do it. But, maybe…

“Okay, yeah, if it’s not to much trouble, that would be great. It would be nice to have…some help.” What the fuck was I doing? And was she enabling me? Or, was it just wishful thinking on my part? This had all been too much for me to have a single rational thought.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said with a suspicious smile. She knew. She definitely knew. She turned to go.

“Abi, wait, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, honey, anything.”

“Can you, um, close the door?”

She did, without question, and turned to me with those big, understanding eyes of hers. “What’s on your mind?”

“When you told me that thing yesterday, why did you want me to know that?”

“What thing?”

“About guys, you know…” she waited for me to finish. “About guys being able to ejaculate when they’re unconscious.”

There was that smile again, which was at least somewhat comforting. “I think I said they can cum, but ejaculate works too.” Her eyes flicked to my dad. Was she checking for a bulge? Now I was just being paranoid. “Sorry, it was just a random piece of information that came to mind. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

I didn’t believe her. There was an ulterior motive there, I just knew it. “Because…I tried it,” I blurted out, then bit my tongue. What the fuck! Why did I say that? I wanted to tell her, tell someone, but it just came out! I was in so much trouble.

“Tried what?” she asked innocently. I was sure she was playing some kind of game with me.

What the fuck. My dad was lying there in a coma, quite possibly fighting for his life. If there was a chance this woman could help me…help us…I had to take the risk. I couldn’t deal with losing him, not now, not ever.

“I, ah…tried making him…y’know…cum.” It sounded so awful saying it out loud. I waited for her to flip out and tell me what a sick fuck I was. She would then run and alert the hospital authorities or call the cops. Something bad, I just knew it.

“Oh, wow.” was all she said. Abi was quiet after that, but I could see it was just because she was trying to choose her next words carefully. How was she going to condemn me in the most empathetic way she could manage? “With your mouth?”

It was my turn to be shocked. “My hand,” I answered without thinking.

“Just after midnight, I assume?”

I nodded, unable to speak out of fear and abject humiliation. “But nothing happened. Well, nothing for him, that is. He didn’t…ejaculate, or whatever.”

“I see,” she said, considering what I’d just confessed. “Well, based on the results, you did a good thing for him…for his recovery.”

“Should I have used my mouth?”

She seemed to relax a bit when I asked that. I hadn’t considered that she might be dealing with her own fear and anxiety talking to me about this.

“You could, of course, if you want, but the important part is massaging the prostate.”

“The prostate? You mean the cancer thing?”

“Sort of, yes, but that’s not its main function. It produces the seminal fluid that mixes with the sperm in the testicles when a man…ejaculates.” She just barely avoided saying “...when a man cums.” She was trying to be the medical professional all of the sudden.

“Okay, so…I don’t get it.”

“Well, if you stimulate the prostate…with a finger, maybe…that should induce an ejaculation…possibly in conjunction with help from your hand or…mouth.”

This was the kind of real information I needed. “And that could cure him?”

“I can’t say that, for obvious reasons, but it can’t hurt. Just hearing your voice was enough to give him an erection, for whatever reason. And you…touching…his penis provoked some excellent brain activity.”

“I tried giving him a handjob,” I finally came clean. No point in beating around the bush.

“Handjob?” she said, seeming caught off-guard.

“I tried to jerk him off, okay?”

“Oh, I know what a handjob is…believe me. I was queen of the handjob back in school. I studied to be a nurse thinking I could get a job at a fertility clinic. But you don’t want to hear about that. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, really.”

She was blushing. As much as me? Probably not. “To be honest, that’s kind of what I thought was going on, but I didn’t want to say anything. The doctors here wouldn’t understand, but I get it. I really do.”

“But it was my father,” I said, feeling like I wanted to cry. “I did that to my own father,” I lamented pathetically.

“No, no, don’t cry. We don’t want him to hear you crying, now do we?” She came and gave me one of her warm, fluffy hugs. She was all soft and squishy and just brimming over with love and compassion. It was exactly what I needed in that moment.

“I’m awful…I shouldn’t have done that…I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Hush, hush, you did a good thing. I know it might feel like you did something wrong, but that’s not the case. Yes, there are people who would judge you harshly for it, but if it helps him get better, isn’t that all that matters?

How could she be making sense at a time like this? “Yes,” I agreed. “But it didn’t work. I couldn’t even make him…”

“Cum?”

I just nodded, unable to say the word, and held back my tears, “All I did was play around with my father’s dick while he was unconscious. I’m disgusting.”

“Now, now, don’t be like that. Maybe he didn’t cum, but what you did had a very measurable effect. It stimulated him…his mind…in a way that is very significant. If you want to try it again, I can help you. Or, I can do it for you, if you’d prefer.”

Was she offering to get my dad off for me? This wasn’t really happening. I was trapped in some kind of nightmare. But since when did nightmares get me so turned on? I couldn’t get the image of Abi titty fucking my dad out of my head just then. It was appalling how aroused I was by that very inappropriate thought.

“I think I’d rather do it myself,” I said, not entirely expecting to. Did I just tell this stranger I wanted to suck my dad’s dick? I think maybe I did. And she seemed okay with it. More than okay. She was actually encouraging it. Was she some kind of deranged pervert playing games with me?

Was this all just some kind of setup for a deviant kink of hers? Maybe, but could I risk not trusting her? What if what she was saying was true and this could really help him? If he died, and I didn’t even attempt to help him, I’d never forgive myself. Never be able to stop second-guessing everything I did…or didn’t do.

“If you don’t want to do this, that’s okay. I know it’s strange and scary - especially if you’ve never…been with…your father before, but he’s just a man. Like any other man…except for being handsome as fuck and having a lovely cock. Sorry, not the point. I can’t make any guarantees, but there’s a chance that you hold the key to helping him get better. Even if it doesn’t bring about a miracle, it would still have an impact. I’ve seen these things go either way at this stage. Whatever you can do to help could make all the difference. But, no pressure. It’s up to you.”

I hugged her to me, crying into her shoulder as quietly as I could. No pressure she said…except for all the pressure in the word. My father’s life was in my hands…and maybe in my mouth. It seemed insane, but the way Abi explained it made it sound reasonable and real. In order to save him, I need to play with my dad’s cock. Not like I hadn’t done that already.

I’d jacked off a few dicks in my life. Sucked a couple cocks. I didn’t know what went into dealing with a prostate, but Abi was here to help me with that. If there was a chance, any chance at all, I had to do it. Not just for him, but for me and everyone that knew him. He’d touched so many lives that I couldn’t let my puritan modesty stand in the way.

“So, when can we do this?” I said, making up my mind.

“I have a couple of things to check, but I should be able to get a shift tonight if that’s okay.”

“Perfect. I’ll be ready.” Why was I so excited about this? This wasn’t a Tinder date, this was life or death. Should I run out and buy a vibrator before tonight? What the fuck was wrong with me? This wasn’t about me. It had nothing to do with me getting off. I was just in a weird place last night and didn’t know what else to do. It wouldn’t be like that again.

Besides, Abi would be around and she’d know what I was doing. No way I’d get away with doing something as gross as playing with myself as I…took care of Dad. I couldn’t resist thinking about sucking his cock…and for some reason, I was naked when I pictured it. I tried to get that image out of my head, but it didn’t want to go. Dad might recover, but would I?

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then,” Abi said, trying to suppress the glee in her voice. “What size panties do you wear?”

“Huh? Why do you need to know that?”

“I was going to stop at the store and pick you up a clean pair. Yours are probably going to be soaked afterward, don’t you think?”

I didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. “Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Like a size 5, or just small will do.”

She looked me up and down. “You got it, baby doll.” She went in and gave me a kiss on the cheek that sparked a strange shiver all over. It felt nice. “It’s going to be okay, I’ve got you now. You hear me?” I nodded and got a smile out of her. “Now keep talking to him as much as you can, and let him know he’s going to have a great night.”

It had become clear to me that Abi wanted this as much as I did, for her own reasons. I’m sure she wanted my dad to get better, but I was also pretty sure she just wanted a chance to get at his cock. Well, she was going to have to fight me for it.

Damn, I had to stop thinking like that!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~